Exclusive: Kathryn Borel speaks with Maclean’s in wake of Ghomeshi resolution

In an exclusive interview, Maclean’s writer Anne Kingston sat down with Kathryn Borel to talk about Jian Ghomeshi, her former CBC colleague, her day in court and what it’s been like the last 18-months, going from unnamed complainant to front-page advocate.

Among the topics covered was Borel’s hesitance to having Ghomeshi possibly face her as he delivered his apology in court.

“Because this was a deal that was brought to us by the Henein team and I don’t think that it was Ghomeshi’s idea. I knew that we were going to get some kind of admission – not in the legal sense – but some kind of admission that this had happened to me, that there had been an incident of physical touching. I knew he wasn’t going to get into the specifics of what the charge was… so in that moment where he was possibly going to turn and deliver the apology to me, I didn’t want to look him in the eyes because I didn’t think that it was going to be fully genuine.”

“I know the word trauma has been, we’ve been talking a lot about trauma and it’s a big word but I do believe that I was traumatized by him over the course of those three years. So the idea of him, my abuser, looking me in the eye while he was apologizing to me in what was perhaps not quite a genuine apology because it was structured by the judicial system, worried me.”

Borel also admits to “blacking out” at times during the apology, calling it a surreal experience and processing only part of the entire statement that “bumped” for her, like when he referred to their friendship.

“We weren’t friends. We never went out one-on-one and had a drink. I never set foot in his house for a Christmas party. He was mean to me all the time. You’re not mean to your friends, even with your office friends. Jian Ghomeshi wasn’t my friend. He was in a power position over me all the time and a friendship to me is a democratic relationship where both parties are equal… we were never equals and he took every opportunity to remind me of that.”

While the term sexual assault was never used by Ghomeshi in his apology, Borel said her statement outside of court made it clear this was nothing more than a criminal behaviour.

“It felt more significant for this person, Jian Ghomeshi, who had fallen silent for 18 months and not said anything publicly after he had made claims that he was going to fight all these allegations in court, he was going to address all of them head-on and that everyone was lying and then, that he went quiet afterwards, I felt it was really important optically and to me and hopefully to other people, to send a message that he did this. And that he said it, he had to say it. Sure he used vaguer terms but he said it.”

As for her former employer, Borel says she has no intention at this point to file a civil lawsuit against the CBC, where she claims Ghomeshi was “institutionally protected”. But she would appreciate a proper apology from the public broadcaster.

“I would really love an apology, a straight out ‘We’re sorry that we created an promoted an environment that hurt you so much'”

“I would love for the people at the beginning of this process who called me a liar to say that they were wrong. Those words are still out there. No one has formally withdrawn the fact that there were people at the CBC who were calling me a liar when I first came out as a source in the media story.”

Visit Macleans.ca to watch the entire interview.