Abusive husband demands spousal support after woman leaves marriage

By Cynthia Mulligan

A woman who was beaten by her husband regularly for 18 years — he pleaded guilty and spent time in jail — might now have to pay her abuser spousal support.

“My marriage was a violent one,” said the woman, whom CityNews has chosen not to identify. “It was full of love and hate in equal measure.

“I was kicked in the face. I was punched in the face. I used to hide under the comforter and he beat my head.”

The cycle of violence went on for 18 years, until one day he went too far.

“He beat my daughter,” she said. “He beat his child. The day he beat his child, there was no more.”

The woman called police, who charged her husband with two counts of assault. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to nine days in jail, which amounted to one day with credit for time served.

Now, he is demanding spousal support — $696 a month.

“I went through many suicidal thoughts,” she said. “I couldn’t find a way out. You cannot wrap your head around this.

“If somebody beat you on the street, you would never pay them. But because you beat your spouse, that’s OK.”

Under family law in Ontario, equalization payments are designed to put each spouse on the same financial footing. The woman’s husband was on disability and not working.

“He’s being rewarded for beating you, and you’re going to pay him to do it,” the woman said.

“So inevitably maybe you go back. I know I’ve had thoughts of going back. What else can I do? … This is forcing many women back into the very situation they’ve run from.”

The woman’s lawyer told her the courts do not take into account why the marriage broke up.

“It doesn’t matter — only that the separation of property is equalized,” the woman said.

“As my lawyer told me, we have a legal system, not a justice system.”

Meanwhile, the woman is questioning how much longer she can fight the battle. She continues to pay legal fees while her estranged husband is getting legal aid.

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